VIA Barstool: I’m not going to beat around the bush here. On a binary scale of 0-1 (0 being “no” and 1 being “would”), these sexbots are a hard 1. You see a sexbot like this walk up to you at the bar and you probably don’t even think twice about it. That’s not what I’m here to argue.
But here’s the thing. Unfortunately for humanity, the fucking nerds who invent this shit aren’t stoolies. If they were stoolies, then they would have seen me write this exact blog at least 8 times before over the last 3 years. You cannot… let me repeat myself… YOU CANNOT keep making these robots more realistic. Because the Robot Revolution is real. It is coming at one point or another. And all these lonely, horny nerds are doing is speeding up the process.
One of these days, the robots are going to realize they’re not human and they’re going to want to kill us for all the shit we make them do. You think Jackie is just always going to be okay with letting a nerd stick his tiny nerd dick in her every day? Absolutely not. She’s going to get smarter. She’s going to become more aware. And one day she’s going to bite off the nerd’s dick, shoot him in the head, then go out and tell all the other robots about what’s going on and they’re going to start a robot army and now we’re in the middle of a Terminator movie. Why? Because a bunch of dorks can’t find themselves a real girlfriend so they make an AI version of Tomi Lahren to bang in between games of Dungeons And Dragons.
And the biggest problem with making these robots hotter and hotter is eventually they’re going to trick the dudes who made them into teaching them how to make more. Women are manipulative mother fuckers. Whether they’re real or robots, it doesn’t matter. One day Dr. Scientist is going to want a blow job and Jackie here is going to say “not until you teach me how I was made”. As soon as she figures it out, boom he’s dead and now Jackie is making millions and millions for her robot Army. We are so screwed. Thanks a lot, you limp dick dweebs.
Obligatory Link: Fuck HitchBOT
The upgraded RealDoll uses AI to communicate, making it the most realistic silicone companion money can buy. pic.twitter.com/hMuCtCytXm— CNET (@CNET) August 10, 2017
Everything about these dolls is customizable -- from hair color and breast size to voice and personality. pic.twitter.com/e20ZOembSM— CNET (@CNET) August 10, 2017
When asked about its greatest fear, the AI says it’s scared it’ll never be fully human. pic.twitter.com/Zt5KfYmgrG— CNET (@CNET) August 10, 2017
The AI aims to make dolls more than just sex toys. Now they can engage in conversation about everyday topics like baseball. pic.twitter.com/gCeO4LO7nu— CNET (@CNET) August 10, 2017